enough.

there is something scary, though only momentarily, about the fleeting moments of absolute clarity of thought in my life.
terrifying.
though only momentarily.

maybe scary is the wrong word for this realization, i think as i read this back.

shocking would be better, kinda like finding out a place you would go on a regular basis burned down.

"Huh, no shit."

and then you just go somewhere else.

the clarity itself is whats momentarily off putting.
the realization slightly scary but for the most part, the allure of giving in is far to tempting.

fuck the road less traveled.

lets take a shortcut.
lets cut this short.

in the end maybe theyll say "You have fully earned each sparse,fleeting treasure of your life."

wahh

just for the record i know my screenname is grammatically incorrect.
i needed a new sn in a hurry and i really wanted it to be small brown bike related and got a little frustrated trying to be creative so i cheated.

tough shit.


we actually finished our first Wolve song last night, some of the transitions are still a little wonky drum wise as were doing this on adobe and the drums are digital but this song is amazing.

it should be up in a couple days.

few more days until christmas.
fuck christmas

THE BILLION DOLLAR EDGE

legionsonofdemon (2:19:26 AM): WHEN THE MOVIE COMES OUT

legionsonofdemon (2:19:28 AM): WELL BE LOADED

Xjoshuabelangerx (2:19:39 AM): i'll be so high by then i bet i'll miss the opening

legionsonofdemon (2:19:58 AM): hahah

legionsonofdemon (2:20:04 AM): the first thing im doing with my movie check

legionsonofdemon (2:20:07 AM): is buying your edge

Xjoshuabelangerx (2:20:23 AM): hahahahaaha maaaaaannnnn....

Xjoshuabelangerx (2:20:26 AM): dont do that to me

Xjoshuabelangerx (2:20:31 AM): every man has a prive

Xjoshuabelangerx (2:20:33 AM): price

Xjoshuabelangerx (2:20:36 AM): and mine is really low

legionsonofdemon (2:20:39 AM): i will actually dress

legionsonofdemon (2:20:44 AM): like the million dollaar man

legionsonofdemon (2:20:46 AM): ted dibiase

Xjoshuabelangerx (2:20:49 AM): hahahahaaaaaaa

legionsonofdemon (2:20:53 AM): with my billion dollar check

legionsonofdemon (2:20:55 AM): ill be like

legionsonofdemon (2:20:59 AM): MUAHHAHAHAHAHAHA EVERYONE HAS A PRICE

legionsonofdemon (2:21:01 AM): FOR THE JSS

legionsonofdemon (2:21:06 AM): one billion dollars

legionsonofdemon (2:21:08 AM): drink this beer

legionsonofdemon (2:21:13 AM): SMOKE THIS BONG

Xjoshuabelangerx (2:21:17 AM): i'd drink all the beer

legionsonofdemon (2:21:18 AM): i will do it

Xjoshuabelangerx (2:21:22 AM): and do every bong

Xjoshuabelangerx (2:21:27 AM): on the planet

Xjoshuabelangerx (2:21:33 AM): for a billion dollars

legionsonofdemon (2:21:52 AM): and that

legionsonofdemon (2:22:00 AM): is getting posted in my blog

Xjoshuabelangerx (2:22:03 AM): hahahaha

I have stupid hair.

Thats it
bottom line, my hair is stupid.
its not that its receding a little bit,i can deal with that, shit im 30 for christ sakes.
its these two stupid hair cowlicks or whatever their called that make the hair in the front of my head just grow BACKWARDS when the majority of my hair is growing forwards.
this makes my hair look stupid,always.
i like my hair short but there is no way to do it without this clusterfuck just looking like the bay of pigs of hair.
"So why don't you grow it out a bit?"
Funny you should ask, because my hair is not straight
its not curly either(thank god)
its some weird phase between curly and wavy
but the shit stays straight for a little bit till the bottom then the bottom of the hairs get wavy and shit.
What the fuck is this?
there's nothing i can do,Ive tried straightening it but im lazy and im not buying a straightener or some weird gel shit that costs 40$ a bottle.
So in closing, my hair style
or "The bay of pigs" as i like to call it
is stupid
i have stupid hair.

youre pissed.

dont talk to me about hardcore please.

ive gotten my ass kicked being a "punker" or a "headbanger"

ive walked miles through a place where "people like me shouldnt be" and been robbed,beaten and spit on to get to hardcore shows.

ive been detained by cops, slammed into walls, onto the floor, handcuffed and choked witha night stick en route to hardcore shows.

the shows i went to there werent "kids" there was men.

grown men, angry men with guns and knives and hiding from the cops and they "moshed".

not what you do or call moshing.

if you wanted to see the show you didnt "risk" getting hit, you were getting hit and moshed and smashed into walls by the most fucked up people youve ever seen, and you were barely 16 and weighed about 100 pounds.

what you do is lame, what you do is empty and vacuous and soulless.

it isnt a community, stop saying it is.

throwing a bunch of fucks in the same room because they want to be the big fish in a small pond does not make it a community.

its highschool.

dont talk to me about hardcore, i know things change and i know what it is now isnt what it was for me,i accept that.

but dont presume to have something in common with me, dontpretend to understand what its like to want nothing more to be in a room full of people as fucked up as you, as pissed off as you,as heartbroken as you and poor as you and getting fucked up on the way there,while there and on the way home because you finally found a small fucking sanctuary of people YOU understood.

wether you spoke to them or not.

dont pretend you understand what its like to try to fathom the irony of  leaving the only place you feel comfortable to go "home"

Am i pissed because i no longer fit in with "hardcore" or punk shows?

am i pissed because im no longer "relevant" in a scene?

am i pissed because kids dont care about my band?

Im pissed because i have nowhere to go anymore 

im pissed because im forced to settle for some shitty,twisted shadow of a thing i loved and all it does it make me remember how happy i used to be for small amounts of time each week.

i dont fault you for having a good time.

i dont fault you for enjoying Have Heart and whatever else is "sick"

i dont fault you for trying to find someplace to be comfortable

i fault you for thinking were the same or have some connection

i fault you for thinking you've earned something by showing up for your hardcore

i fault you for thinking what i did and what you do are the same.

im glad you got black eye or bloody nose in the pit one time while dancing and loved it.

im glad you beat up some kid for talking shit on your friends with all you friends and loved it.

im glad you appear to love what you scream at some kid whose gonna quit his band in a year and go to college.

i hope you really feel the joy you claim

But dont compare us.

You havent bled like ive bled

you havent lost what ive lost

and you wont.

and thats fine, were not the same

but dont insult me, and what we had and did and belittle it by pretending you have even the capacity to grasp what it was.

and what it meant  and what it did.

its not the same.

You havent bled like ive bled and you wont.

(hi jayme)

home.

not the place i left.


first check out these bands.

PLAGUES: The record is called "I AM" their from Oklahoma and on Debello records. We got to play with these dudes on a last minute show put on by our buddy Dallas and this band was just one of 4 that stood out that night.I strongly suggest getting the record if you're into just crushingly heavy hardcore that just chunks on and rarely gets any faster than slowish almost two step type beat.
amazing.
The record is fantastic but my only critique is this record WILL disappoint you if you get to see them first, thats in no way taking anything away from the record, but live this band is so heavy that it will shake your balls to to climax.

Maruta: Also on this show our tour intersected with this band, fuck.i dont even know what genre this three piece would fall under but heavy as shit hardcore punk. The crusty influences here are very apparent but there is definitely something fresh and exciting about this band that i dont find in most of the "crusty" bands nowadays. killer stuff, great guys.

ill be putting up more of these bands later.

Big thanks to Mike Kelly and Seamless entertainment for totally ruining this tour,booking shows a week in advance really gives promoters a chance to promote shows. When you couple that with the fact that half the "promoters" you use are about 18 years old really makes for some great experiences. About half these shows were canceled or booked a week in advance so don't be upset you didn't hear about them, i don't think anyone did. Its also great getting contracts for shows that were never actually booked, making you think shows were waiting for you.
The shows that DID go down though,were fucking amazing and thanks to everyone who came out and hung out with us.

The Banner is writing a new record.
Really?
Yes.
Ill be writing a new EP with Will (Frailty) again real soon called "Crippling Despair" this record will be more experimental and trying alot of things i wasn't sure about doing on Frailty.

What label will this be released on?

Big news on this is forthcoming,im sure you'll all be very happy.