two more days at this job, Im gonna miss it but the new job...yeah,killer.

today i have to do ten thousand things all of wich are boring and lame except for going to my dads house for dinner. sweet.

i would really like to know whats going on with this comic book thing,on the rare occasions i speak to the dudes they say theyre all about it but nothing ever really moves forward. i guess its up to me to kinda grab somebody and shake'em.
i just hope they still want to do it,ive been writing like crazy.

the giant book is moving alot faster than LIH, im having alot of fun with it, writing in book form is so much faster and more fun that writing directly into panel.
I think im just going to write lih in regular format first and then panelize when it comes time to draw it up.

Im writing it as a submission for wizards of coast hopefully for a forgotten realms novel,im using all the characters and monster from the monster manual, but ive been entertaining the idea of just rolling it over into my own little universe.
Not that the FR stuff has been constricting or handicapping but id like to have the book put out somewhere.

im really worried about my lyrics, they make me come off as completely crazy,its a little embarrassing.


agnes drunk is the most ridiculous thing ever.

5/25/8

today i went grocery shopping and my mom let me do the deli counter...BWAHAHA
my mother likes to horde her money and live like were on government checks but i enjoy eating the food of humans.
i got all the good boards head shit and got the killer red potatoe salad and the coleslaw that you want to eat not that shite soupy shit she swears is from heaven.

my victorys are small and sparse, but fullfilling none the less

Frailty Lyrics

Welcome Fuckers (Will played this on a smashed guitar that we stretched strings on with scissors,i think we wrote the music to this in ten minutes?)
Welcome fuckers its the end as you know
Welcome time to reap what you've sowed
Welcome fuckers with your face so cold
doesn't matter,lake of fire your new home
Nobody's listening little boy wipe your eyes
little bastard dont look so surprised
Little fuckers you weap and you moan
little brother what you gave you will own
did you know better? are you sorry? i dont know
doesn't matter wave goodbye as your thrown

The Wolf
i walk the path to tragedy
a worthless heart without empathy
as the sun now sets upon these chains
colossus rots where once were flames
rots and rusts in blackened fields
agonys screamed (at) the gates to hell
i crawl on towards deaths mercy
kept at arms length, theres no release.
i fall shivering (in) the shadow of the beast
seven serpents crawl up my legs and smother me
i am a liar to the crown
i dance on the tombs of kings and spit on hallowed ground
screams burn like fire, but make no sound.
i cower here a prisoner on the shore to the blackest sea
i ask not why the wolf howls
it howls for me
and i see the tide crawl in time with iron bells
call me back to father in the pits of seven hells.
and i fall.

Leechbath
Crushed under the weight of their writhing fits
teeth like hooks carve deep within
the heartless
and empty
feeding inside
swallowing what little lights in my life
spineless,the cowards
devoid of all depth
surround me, cling tightly
suck the life from my chest
you've
failed
every
day
you've
woke
you scum
you fucks
listen
and
choke
im buried alive, they crawl around me
blink of an eye, my whole life has been stolen from me
feel them crawl inside my neck,behind my eyes,inside my head
i choke and gasp to catch my breath while bloods coughed out across my chest

i know you know the truth about this fucking song
that nothings fucking over and nothings done
a hate unspoken still burns as hot
nothings forgiven
nothings forgot

because i feel no pain anymore.

The Hellbound Heart
Behold godless soul
wrought of hate for a sinners toll
awash in flesh and greed i bow
a thousands days in numbing cold
poisoned lips and poisoned cups
hidden knives and worthless fucks
a dance of death
and end of days
i worship none
none more than pain
through a pit of blades i stray,regret now blacks the light of days of younger flesh and younger hearts
where faith in time and youth still sparked the will to leave the house each day. i saw my path but chose to stray
and now i crawl on back and say ive seen my heart and youth decay.

im broken
and i hope to die alone
ive been failed by every hero ive held
ive called a burning house a home
im dying and its no ones fault but my own
ive chose to burn to this body and mind
this hellbound heart ill own

help me im in hell,among the lost to life i dwell
demons tear and shred this soul
as walking death infects the world i know

im unburied
but fucking dead.

On Hooks
everyday i feel this life is drowning me
every face to cross my path is sickening
a pit devoid of soul, of heart or empathy
i try to find a point at all but i cant see.
on these fucking hooks ill hang
to writhe and rot in iron chains
spirit guides and pills for pain
they drag me to an early grave
ive faced the truth i wont be saved
its far too late for epiphany
the cloaked ghost will strike the days
until this world is through with me

i try but i cannot relate at all
theres no place for me in this fucking world
every time i reach to try again
im knocked back down reminded who i am
with serpents eyes they smile up at me
they pull their hooks and suck dry what they need
they drop an empty corpse down at their feet
and with their cloven hooves step over me

here ill hang.

IWIWD (If you kill yourself its because youre stupid or their is something wrong with your brain, not because of this song,
if you or someone you know is using banner songs as input on life decisions you've already got problems so i strongly suggest you contact one of the many agencys available with help for depression or suicide prevention. These songs are written in contained short amounts of time,if i truly wanted to kill myself,id kill myself not write a song about it. please don't kill yourself.)

Ive got head full of bad ideas
ive got a pocket full of lead
ive got a gun down in my hand
and i put it to my head
all i do is lose
im held together by a thread
i wish to god i was never born
i wish i was fucking dead.

Sphrenia
Nothing is real
i see their shadows in the day
i hear the voices and they call my name
i know the demon by her eyes
the ice blue daggers stab
i see the liars with no face
they walk beside while they play their games
i know they're laughing at my fate
"there is no escaping" is what they say
i read the writing the on the wall
they leave their poison for me,its not too far
they lead me further down the hall
the doors are open for me,its not too far

sunset.

its getting harder just to see what is real,
this fucking nightmare i feel or what she sends when i wake
i cant tell if its my
heart or the hate
im not sure whats ok
are these friends that i see or something crueler for me?
its all her

i cannot see whats left for me
only the horror that comes to haunt the day
i cannot feel whats real in me
just phantom pain for a heart decayed

i will live forever among these mirrored walls
i will pull the curtain from where my tormentor calls
ill stalk the pale faces whose brought me to my knees
ill grasp her thin white neck as she laughs at me

Funerals
Cant get my head above the ground
cant take the heat
cant move on
i lose my thoughts within the sound
its grabs my heart and pulls me down

i feel as buried as any of them
another version of the faces i know
another pound for the weight i tow

another burial (for) a piece of me
another vision that id rather not see
another knife into the heart of me
another funeral is killing

You go on without me but im dragged along
another mark to remind me,how far ive fallen

Dusk
your arms that take
your arms invertebrate
venomous,constricting and cold
blood warms to life
tongue flickers in time
vibrations awaken your soul
the mind sheds away
you circle, break,swerve and stay
you stare so deep ,you rise so tall
you gently sway,your silhouette writhes and plays
its poison up on the wall
drumming hearts they sync and then slow
(you) whisper songs of peace and of home
whisper promise though don't show what you see
when those black diamonds stare straight through to me
flicker in time
gently entwine
daggers slide sharper than pain
rise up,around
liquid and vapor
a warmth that creeps up through my veins
now is your time
and ive walked this line
(while) you slid down deep in my soul
i fade away as you breathe your song heavy
and i take my show on the road
slide on black racer,slide on.

I am Legion (Originally some of these lyrics were lifted and used for the song "Tragedy" on our previous LP "Each breath Haunted". This is the full original version of the lyrics that the line in that song was taken from.)

I am
legion
Gadarene
for i am many
and many devils have entered me
i am legion
i am Gadarene
but these demons wont be cast from me
Abyssos, the farthest depths, from where they rose of Baal and Set
Seven serpents,seven seas, seven walls imprison me
but none shall pass without the key
and it was lain down at their feet
i welcomed them,they welcomed me
never blind
i chose not to see
the engine
the weapon
beneath the flesh
a fragile minds caverns
to hide within
an engine,a weapon is now my heart
the building of towers that crumble and fall apart
An angels boiling blood is flowing backwards through my veins
creatures feeding endlessly upon a child's pain
i am now the sum of all the demons that infest
a cancer of my own construct and built in self defense.
i am legion

Ratflesh (Originally i wrote these lyrics for a punk band i was working on, its kind of goofy but this fucking record was
getting way too heavy for me and i needed to lighten things up as i was kinda going off the deep end, besides everyone
hates their job.)

damn this place a fucking cage
damn another wasted day
at their desks like fucking dummies
making other people money
cant care less what they say
ill burn this fucker down one day
i hope this place burns to the fucking ground
with their ugly suits and cars in tow
i pray these fucking people die
with their bullshit lives and their bullshit smiles
run like rats caught in a maze
while to a desk i sit here chained
if i last another day
ill blow out my fucking brains

another day another dollar
and ill fucking sit here while my brain rots farther
but i have to play this game to pay my fucking car bill

The Father and the wayward son
The end
the union of the father and the wayward son
atop the sister peaks above the valley, Agamemnon
under angels
above the lightless fallen stars
a pale cloaked rider
circles to his call
with the countless counted
lost in confusion
await the harvest hour
await the son
the falling answers
clarity as a flood
the weaping liars
creation undone
revelation
as was told all along
the facing gates swing open
and drag their children home
so far from mercy
pay the boatmens toll
as we see the lightbringer has reclaimed his sword

they await the harvest hour
they await the descent

all i have and all i know

and it comes back to me,like a child's dream
all so familiar for things ive never seen

SUMMER OF OUR SOUL

So this friday begins the The Banner summer of fuck.
Youngguns tour (lol) July were doing some headlining and then august were going out with these
dudes,You may have heard of them Doyle and Dr.Chud..yeah they were in a band or something.

I have never felt more strongly about a record than i do about Frailty.
The lyrics,the music everything is as perfect as ive yet to achieve in transferring what i wanted in my head to a record.

ill have to post the lyrics soon, since theyre not in the layout.
the layout was kinda of an epic failure.
The Layout is actually a portion of a huge poster image i created from a bunch of old woodcuts by Albrecht Durer and other artists from that period and then drew over.
due to a snafu the original format i was given to create the layout in was no longer a possibility after i had created the artwork for it, which left me scrambling to alter it in a way that wouldnt cut the balls off the artwork i created. Im not happy with it but i can release the full image in other ways and these things happen.

So when youre looking at the layout and notice the cutoff stuff at the top and wonder what was going on...here you go.

I know alot of you downloaded the leaked album already and honestly,i couldnt give a fuck,i just hope you guys choose to still purchase the record for the artwork and to help us get from place to place. Gas being almost 4 bucks a gallon and our "gaurentees"being what they are the money really helps us continue touring and stuff. Lets face it were not exactly coming home to mansions and shit . You think feeding a puppy is expensive? try getting a girlfriend (zing)

Anyway please come to the shows so i can yell things at you via a microphone.

-----------==-----------

I leave on Thursday
im excited because i feel like the new record will be recieved well.
id like to have a ton of kids get a record i did again.
im nervous
im a nervous wreck
this is entirely on me this time,no more 50/50
i feel more confident with this than any of the other records, but in the past my confidence has been nothing but a kiss of death.
the more im sure of anything
the more likely it is to blow up in my fucking face.

regardless i love this record
i love these words
i love these songs, they are perfect
they are exactly what i wanted.
exactly what i envisioned the record i wanted to write to be.

i love jake even when i want to smash his head with football, hes so much like me it terrifys me it makes me want to smack him and tell him to not do everything hes doing because ive done the exact same things.
i love paul he makes me want to try to be a better person
i love rich more and more everyday as he gets exponentially wierder and more awkward to me,i could sit and watch him talk for hours and it would never get old.
and i love buzz as he makes me miss having a "little" brother, i want to drink his blood and steal his energy.

i dont know how im gonna deal without having agnes everyday, thats gonna suck beyond words.

me and monica are getting closer and thats crazy to me, good crazy, im kinda gonna miss our hang out and shit i never considered us being friends like we are now.

i always miss greg even when i want to throw him off a building.

Me and George built the loft for the van, it was some pretty killer step-father son time and now we have probably the most bitchin van loft ever.

im kinda scared to leave my mom, shes really kinda just a swirling ball of wierdness lately.

im kinda stoked to see my tour friends , kinda stoked to be tour manager..kinda nervous on that too.

i forget to send back my netflicks again..fuck.

i gotta buy socks

Oh...this again.

This is not the time for this.
i have ten things i need to juggle right now in the hope of getting each one 20% right,and it is damn well known that i will throw them all out the window to "fix" this.
im so confused, im so fucking confused, im terrified.
the best part of this was this was new and different and it proved me wrong about what i thought things could be like.
Hey, it could happen even for me.
Now things like this.
things like this make me think its not so different.
im still clueless
im still useless
im still fucking hopeless
im not gonna say i need it
but i want it more than anything else.
i can survive it again, no one knows their way through that whole thing better than me
i know it intimately
its the not losing of what is now or was, but the losing of what could still happen that fucking bugs me.
Im gonna try to "fix" it, obviously
obviously im going to do everything in my power
I wont ask you to meet me half way, because i have changed everything already.
meet me 1/10th of the way please.
fuck this whole thing.


how good is the fucking troublemaker demo?

i just remembered i had this.

i will be posting here more.